Really Arivukanru

What does Arivukanru do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
...............................................................................................................................

What does Arivukanru do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
........................................................................................................................................
How Does a Arivukanru Cheat the Railways?? He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

..........................................................................................................................................

How can you tell when Arivukanru sends you a fax?

It has a stamp on it.

...........................................................................................................................................

Why can't Arivukanru dial 911? 
He can't find the 11 on the phone!

Funny Arivukanru

Arivukanru and kutty went into a pub and after ordering two
drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.
So Arivukanru and kutty exchanged their sandwiches.
..........................................................................................................................................................

Arivukanru standing below a tube light with a open
mouth.................
WHY?

because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should
be light".
.........................................................................................................................................................

Arivukanru is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

...........................................................................................................................................................

Arivukanru praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done! The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"

No driver

Kutty and Arivukanru landed up in Mumbai. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Kutty somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Arivukanru got pushed to the top.

After a while when the rush was over, Kutty went upstairs to see friend Arivukanru.
He met Arivukanru in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.

He says, “Arre Arivukanru ! What the hell going on? Why are you so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there?
Scared Arivukanru replies, “Yeah, but you’ve got a driver.”

Ladder

Arivukanru is in Delhi. He is walking on a street, which has clock tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Arivukaru says “Yes”.
“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder”.

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Arivukanru figured he was taken for a ride.
On the next day, the Arivukanru is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock,
“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”
Arivukanru gives him the thousand and says, “I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder.”

Arivukanru forgets

Kutty and Arivukanru are two friends and kutty has a very good job.

Arivukanru is jobless and one day asks Kutty to help him get some good Job.

Kutty says, “OK, next time we will apply together.” and they do.

On interview day, kutty says, “First I will go inside and answer all questions except the last one, and after coming out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in and answer everything and You will get the Job.”

So, kutty goes in.

EMPLOYER: When did we get independence?

Kutty: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947.

EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our CM?

Kutty: It changes daily and these days its karunanithi.

EMPLOYER: OK. What’s India’s population?

Kutty: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell
you, Sir.

Now he comes out and tells the questions and answers to Arivukanru.

Arivukanru remembers all answers and forgets the questions. He goes in now.

EMPLOYER: When were you born?

Arivukanru: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.

EMPLOYER: What? Who is your father?

Arivukanru: It changes daily and these days its karunanithi.

EMPLOYER (Now quite upset): Are you mad Mr. Arivukanru?

Arivukanru: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir.

Cactus

Once a Hindu, a Muslim and our dear Arivukanru were standing together. An Englishman came up and asked, “hey guys, what is your favorite flowers?”

The Hindu replied, ‘Lotus’
‘Ha, I clean my shit with that!’ the Englishman jeered

The Hindu got angry, the lotus being our national flower

The Muslim replied : “Chameli”
‘Ha I clean my shit with that!’ The Englishman response

The Muslim also got angry but kept quite

The Englishman asked Arivukanru, ‘Arivukanru, and what is your favourite flower?’
Patriotic Arivukanru replied: ‘Cactus! and replied, “now clean your face with it!”

25 minutes

Mrs. Arivukanru was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.

One day she hung up after 25 minutes….

“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”

“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Arivukanru

Older Hutch

One day a dog was running behind Arivukanru… But Arivukanru was laughing.

Kutty asked, “Why you are so happy?

He said : “Ah Ah Ah…I have an Airtel mobile with me…But Still Hutch network is following me.”

Customer Arivukandru

Arivukandru saw a GREAT bargain on newspaper and asked the salesman...
Arivukandru: I want to buy that TV!
Salesman: No, sorry, we don't sell to Arivukandrus...

So, Arivukandru left, kind of upset, but came back the next day with a hat on and a completely different look, he figured that the salesman wouldn't even recognize him!

Arivukandru(dressed as somebody else): Yes sir, I would like to buy that TV!
Salesman (pauses for a second): No sir, I told you yesterday, we don't sell to Arivukandrus!

He was amazed that he was recognized!

Arivukandru: How did you recognize me?
Salesman: Because that's not a TV, it's a microwave...;-)