Cockroach

Arivukanru  feels," Instead of this life, I should have been born as a cockroach. 

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My wife is afraid only of that.. :-( "

Wife

Arivukanru's Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.

Mr. Arivukanru: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
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Kutty to Arivukanru: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Arivukanru rushed home angrily.

After half an hour, he came back and slapped Kutty.

Arivukanru said: You fool, he is not my friend.
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Arivukanru wife goes to police station.

Arivukanru Wife: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes. He has not returned home yet.

Inspector (kutty): Why don't you cook something else?
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Arivukanru's Quote:

Short cut to success:

"Behind every successful Man, there is a WOMAN...

So, don't waste time in your studies...
just find a woman..."

facebook jokes

"There's a new iPhone app that lets you call your Facebook friends from your phone."
Arivukanru replied:
Of course, I only got on Facebook so I wouldn't have to call these people."

Funny facebook status

Arivukanru says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”

The Last Criteria

Arivukanru and Kutty both bought one horse each.
They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. So Arivukanru asked, “how will we know which is your and which is mine?”

Kutty said “its easy I will cut mine’s tail and yours will be the one with tail”.
Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too.

So the next morning confusion arose even more. Arivukanru said, “don’t worry, I”ll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell”.
The boys heard this too so they cut the bell.
The next day, Arivukanru got frustrated and said, “OKAY!!! now the last criteria will be that:
White Horse will be yours and Black Horse will be mine”.

Arivukanru bank loan

Arivukanru walks into a bank in Chennai City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow Rs.5,00,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of his latest BMW car parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the BMW car into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the Rs. 5,00,000 and the interest, which comes to 500. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow Rs.5,00,000?"

Arivukanru replied, "Where else in Chennai can I park my BMW car for two weeks for 500 rupees?"

With Bill gates

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room.
One candidate is our Arivukanru

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming.
Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.
Arivukanru says to himself,
'I do not know who is JAVA, but I have
nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try !'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more
than 100 people may leave.


2000 people leave the room.

Arivukanru says to himself
'I never managed anybody by
myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. Risk edukkaruthu Rusk
sapidaramathiri !' So he stays.


Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may
leave.

500 people leave the room.
Arivukanru says to himself,
'I left school at 15, but what
have I got to lose ? Evvalavo pannitom Etha pannna mattoma?' So he stays in
the room.

Lastly,
Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat
to leave.

498 people leave the room.
Arivukanru says to himself,
'I do not speak one word of
Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose ?' So he stays
and finds himself with one other candidate; Everyone else
has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said
'Apparently you are the only
two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to
hear you have a conversation together in that
language.'
Calmly, Arivukanru turns to the other candidate and says 'endha ooru?'

The other candidate kutty  answers… 'Madurai'