Interviewer: give me the opposite words.
Arivukandru : ok
Int: Made in India
AK: pallam in Pakistan
Int: Gud... keep it up.
AK: Bad, put it down.
Int: Maxi mum.
AK: Mini dad.
Int: Enough, take ur seat.
AK: Insufficient, give my seat.
Int: Idiot! Take ur seat.
AK: Clever! Give my seat.
Int: I say, you get out.
AK: You didnt say i come in.
Int: I reject you!
AK: You appoint me.
Int: Kadavulae enna kapathu.
AK: Sathanae avana kollu..!!!

What is the time?

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.

Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices Arivukanru similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

Calling out to Arivukanru, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you know the time?"

Arivukanru says, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, he locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket,Arivukanru calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."

The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.

Before he leaves, he says to Arivukanru, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" Our Arivukanru holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."

Arivu in Airport

Arivukandru made a call to airport & asked: How long is the journey frm NEWYORK to CALIFORNIA?
Receptionist: It takes only 30 mins sir.
Arivukandru: ok..then i'll walk....

password

Arivukanru is having computer problems at work, so he calls the IT department. A technician arrives and asks Arivukanru for his password.
“My password is DonaldMickeyMinnieGoofyPlutoHueyDeweyLouieDelhi,” Arivukanru replies.
“Why is it so long?” the technician asks.
“Because,” Arivukanru replies, “I was told it had to be eight characters and one capital.”

torchlight

One evening, after the power failed, a woman whispers romantically to her husband Arivukanru, “Darling, you are the light in my darkness.”
“Yes, honey,” her husband replies.
“That’s because I’m holding the torchlight.”

accident

Arivukanru kutty: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.

Arivukanru: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.

Arivukanru kutty: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 years old at that time.

kiss

A newly wed Arivukanru wife talks to her husband

Arivukanru Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?

Arivukanru: How can I? I don't even know her.

password

Arivukanru kutty Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.

Kutty: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?

Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.

Kutty: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.

empty cup

Arivukanru to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.

Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !!!

wish

Arivukanru's wish :when i die, i wanna die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his
sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

CHIN YU YAN

Arivukanru visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Arivukanru goes to china to find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'YOU ARE STANDNG ON THE OXYGEN TUBE!" ... »

Stop Her

A Teacher lecturing on population -
In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
Arivukanru kutty stands up- we must find & stop her!.

So slow

Arivukanru was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Arivukanru: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

In the desert

Arivukanru ,a Japanese, and a British were lost in
the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they
had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued
their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and
Arivukanru took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did
you bring the radiator?" The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, can drink
the fluid."
Next the Arivukanru asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?"
So the British said "If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit
on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked Arivukanru why he had chosen the door.
Arivukanru quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I
have to do is roll down the window.

Two Horses

Arivukanru and Kutty both bought one horse each.

They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. So Arivukanru asked "how will we know which is your

and which is mine?"

Kutty said "its easy I will cut mine's tail, and yours will be the one with tail."

Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too.

So the next morning confusion arose even more. Arivukanru said."don't worry, ill tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the

one without the bell."

The boys heard this too so they cut the bell.

The next day, Arivukanru got frustrated and said

"OKAY!! now the last criteria will be that:

WHITE HORSE will be yours and BLACK HORSE will be mine."

Detective job

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective.
One was Arivukanru, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation.
"The Romans killed him."
The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question.
He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
Finally Arivukanru arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question.
He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?"
The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
When Arivukanru arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?".
Arivukanru replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.

SAND TO PAKISTAN

Arivukanru comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered our arivukanru

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Arivukanru all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases arivukanru, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the arivukanru's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Arivukanru.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the arivukanru, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Arivukanru doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

Arivukanru, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'